The Quest
by Napoleon Bonerfart
Summary: Minako hears a sound one night while sleeping over at Rei's. She is determined to figure out what it is. Rei x Minako, implied Ami x Makoto.


Minako Aino had the unusual experience of being woken up by another part of her body falling asleep. She tried to move her right arm to keep it from falling even further asleep, except that it was pinned underneath the raven-haired shrine maiden that Minako was currently sharing a bed with. Slowly and gently, Minako rolled her girlfriend off of her arm and managed to free it from where it had been trapped, all without waking the other girl up.

Shifting herself slightly, Minako cuddled herself up against Rei again, and let herself drift off to sleep.

At least until another sound woke Minako up again, _Brrrrrrrrpht!_

Quickly looking the darkened room, Minako quickly realized that only one thing could have made that sound. Or rather, one person, the black-haired, violet-eyed shrine maiden sharing this bed with Minako, the Princess of the T*A girls academy, who projected the image of always being so perfect, beautiful, and graceful.

And never ever going to live this down.

—

Four o'clock in the morning was an hour that most people rarely get to see. Rei Hino was not one of those people, carefully disentangling herself from her still-sleeping girlfriend, Rei slowly donned the traditional red and white robes of a Shinto Miko, and set herself to work on her day's chores.

"I knew I'd catch you some time." came a very soft, very perky, very _blonde_ voice from behind her.

Rei would normally wonder why Minako would have picked today to suddenly start getting up at a reasonable hour, but Rei Hino had long learned to expect the completely unexpected from her girlfriend. Without even turning around, Rei let out a tiny sigh and said "If you're going to be up at this hour, you could at least make yourself useful and grab a broom."

Rei could feel the waves of disappointment coming from the blonde, whatever game she was playing this time wasn't going to work.

"You aren't even going to ask what I caught you doing?" Minako pouted.

"I'm sure whatever it is, you'll tell me soon enough." Rei replied, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend's dramatic absurdity.

"It's simple, my dear Rei-chan, I heard you fart last night." Minako stated abruptly

Whatever Rei had been expecting, it wasn't _that_. Fumbling the broom for a second as she swept the shrine grounds, Rei quickly recovered and harrumphed at Minako, putting her chin up.

"Of course not, Mina-P. I never fart." Rei said, dismissing the accusation.

"Of course you don't Rei-chan, but I know what I heard last night, and what I heard was a certain miko I was sharing a bed with fart." Minako accused. Dammit, she heard her girlfriend fart last night and she was going to get her to admit it come heaven or high water.

"Maybe it was the sound of all the hot air in your head" Rei shot back as she continued to sweep up the shrine.

Rei accepted the silence from the blonde as a sign that she was conceding defeat. Unfortunately for the miko, she had not yet learned that once Minako Aino sets her mind to something, she doesn't give up that easily.

—

Hammer Price Hall Pawn Shop was not exactly the most upscale shopping location if you were to ask Rei Hino, and she was beginning to wonder how exactly this wonderful, frustrating, amazing and egotistical _blonde_ had managed to drag her in here. The only reason she could possibly think of for why Mina had wanted to come here so badly was because they had a disturbingly large collection of Sailor Senshi merchandise for sale.

Rei grabbed a small doujinshi collection that had featured Sailor Mars on the cover, who knows, maybe how this author had written "her" would make for a good laugh, or more likely she'd waste a couple hundred yen on something that'd make her want to toss it across the room in frustration. Thumbing through a couple more doujinshi collections, Rei wandered past the costumes to see whatever it was that Minako was doing.

Looking at the costumes, Rei wondered why her girlfriend even bothered when she had access to the real thing. Not just her ability to transform into Sailor Venus or into Sailor V, but she has a compact that let's her transform into literally anybody. Figures that moon kingdom technology would favor blondes. Looking over one of the few half-decent replicas of the first sailor fuku that she had worn when she first became Sailor Mars, Rei was mighty tempted to buy it just so that she could get her red high heels back.

After what seemed like an eternity trying to decide whether she should buy a Sailor Mars costume for the replica red high heels, the miko had put the costume down when she looked over at one of the mannequins that she hadn't paid attention to before.

Looking at the mannequin in front of her, Rei prayed to every known deity that she could possibly think of that Minako would never, _ever_ see this costume.

Standing before her was a mannequin that could only be described as wearing a frilly sexed-up version of Sailor V's fuku. Just about the only that hadn't been changed was Sailor V's trademark red mask. The sailor collar and shoulder guards were still there, but in lieu of an actual top, there was a large red heart over the chest with a giant V printed on it, and cheap frilly edging all the way around it. The skirt wasn't as bad, being about the same length as the sorts they normally work when transformed and fighting, but it too had that cheap edging applied to the hem of the skirt. The shoes weren't much better, having had the heels raised so high that Rei wondered if it was even physically possible to walk in them, never mind trying to fight against a youma.

"I bet you'd like to see me in that, huh Rei?" Asked her girlfriend and the absolute last person she wanted to be around right now.

Leaning over to give her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek, Minako whispered into Rei's ear "I'll wear that costume for you if you want…"

Rei Hino could handle many things, but Minako at her most… Minako was not one of them, and she subsequently found herself terminally flustered and embarrassed.

"I'll make you a deal Rei-chan." Minako proposed. "I'll buy and wear that costume for you, but you have to do something for me."

Rei simply buried her face in her hands and tried to wish she was somewhere else. Can you even perform a Sailor Teleport by yourself?

"If I wear that costume, you have to admit that you farted that night." Minako chirped.

"Mina-P I already told you." Rei groaned. "I didn't fart, I am a proper lady and I do not break wind."

"I'm suuuuuuuure, Rei-chan." Minako drawled. "I am absolutely, completely certain that you have never and will never fart in bed. Completely, and totally certain."

—

Whoever invented the English language was certainly trying to get innocent girls to tear their hair out in frustration, Usagi had decided. Minako was lucky that she already learned English because this language was impossible. Why are there so many different rules and all these exceptions to them. Instead, Usagi was sitting in Makoto's apartment with the rest of the girls studying for their exams. Because Minako had already learned English when she went off to London and Greece to fight youma as Sailor V, she had so kindly volunteered to help tutor Usagi in english.

So now, Usagi and Minako were sitting in one corner of Makoto's living room while Minako helped Usagi with her english, while Rei and Ami were in another part of the living room going over some of Rei's biology homework.

"Okay Usagi, I want you to practice with me. [I saw Rei cut the cheese]." Minako instructed.

"[I seeing Rei-chan cutting cheese.]" Usagi recited.

"You almost had it there Usagi-chan." Minako said. "But English doesn't use honorifics like Japanese does. And you should have said 'saw' and not 'seeing'"

"But don't they mean the same thing?" Usagi asked. English was stupid and made no sense to her, all these words that mean the same thing and all these rules about when you could use what word. When Usagi was queen of the world, she was going to get rid of English, it's just too confusing.

"I know it seems tough Usagi-chan, but just spend some time in an English-speaking country and you'll pick up the basics of it." Minako said, reassuring her princess. "Let's try another one Usagi-chan. [I heard Rei breaking wind.]"

"[I heard Rei breaking the wind]" Usagi carefully recited.

"Very good Usagi-chan!" Minako smiled. "See? You can learn English with a teacher as good as me!"

"Yaaaaay!" Usagi squealed, happy that she finally got an English sentence right. "I'm gonna go show Ami-chan!" And with that, Usagi leapt up and ran over to where Rei and Ami were studying.

"Ami-chan! Ami-chan! I finally got an English sentence right!" Usagi was beaming in happiness. Ami couldn't help but return the smile.

"Very good Usagi-chan, what is it?" Ami asked, taking a sip of the tea that Makoto had brought out for her.

"[I heard Rei breaking the wind.]" Usagi proudly recited.

Upon hearing the sentence, Ami nearly choked on her tea. After a couple of coughs and some pats on the back from her girlfriend, Ami looked over at Minako, who had a very suspicious smile on her face.

"Just what have you been teaching our princess?" Ami asked.

"English." Minako replied, her shit-eating grin threatening to split her face in half. While Rei understood english, her knowledge of a lot of it's euphemisms wasn't up to the same level as her girlfriend. Seeing the girl's confusing, Ami leaned over and quietly explained what the english euphemism 'breaking wind' meant.

"Minako what on earth are you teaching Usagi-chan?!" Rei shouted.

"English." Minako replied evenly.

"Then how about teaching Usagi some actual English." Rei said.

"If you want me to do that, just admit it." Minako said, while grabbing a cup of tea off of Makoto's coffee table.

"I already told you Minako-chan, I don't do _that._" Rei exclaimed, exasperated.

"I know what I heard." Minako calmly replied. "Admit it."

"No." Rei harrumphed, sticking her chin up and looking away from Minako. "There's nothing to admit."

—

Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus jumped off the roof of a nearby building into an empty clearing near the Hikawa Shrine, a place that Rei had set up so they can clean themselves before releasing their Sailor fukus.

"I almost lost you." Said Mars, scrubbing the drying ichor off her sailor fuku

"I know." Said Venus, giving her girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." Mars sighed, pulling the quills that youma had launched at them out of her leg.

"I'm sorry." Replied Venus, pulling Mars into a close embrace.

"Don't be." Whispered Mars, resting her head on Venus' shoulder. "I'd do the same for you."

"I know." Whispered Venus, giving her lover another small kiss.

The two girls got up, released their transformations and walked the short distance to the Hikawa Shrine.

—

Rei and Minako sat in the traditional wooden furo in Rei's shrine, neither or them moving, nor speaking, just letting the hot water relax and soothe them.

"Minako-chan…" Rei spoke up. Minako simply shooshed her gently, carefully rocking the raven-haired girl in the furo with her

"Minako-chan," Rei looked over at the blonde again. "I just wanted to tell you. I did fart that night."

Without missing a beat, Minako continued her soothing of Rei. Looking over at the girl, she quietly whispered to the other girl. "I know."


End file.
